People often confuse self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love and interchangeably use these qualities. These qualities are not exactly the same; however they do support and stem from each other. It’s important to keep reminding yourself that these three qualities are important factors in our lives because it keeps us focused, happy, healthy and positive. In this blog post, I’d like to share with you the different ways to build confidence, self-esteem and unconditional self-love.
Before I discuss the top 7, I would like to clearly distinguish the difference between these three qualities.
Self-confidence is about being confident in yourself – how you feel or view your abilities, your power and your own personal judgement. In other words, trusting yourself and having strong belief in oneself.
Self-esteem stems from being proud of who you are as a person and what you do in life. It also refers to how you feel about yourself overall, which develops overtime from your life experiences and situations that have shaped how you look at yourself today. Self-esteem also often forms as a result of your childhood experiences. For example you are likely to have healthy self-esteem if you grew up in a loving environment, with abundant encouragement, instructions on life skills, appropriate freedom and a supportive family. While on the other hand, if your family mistreated you, overly criticised you, embarrassed or humiliated you, never supported you or paid attention to you then you will most likely develop a very low sense of self-esteem.
Self-love is all about accepting who you are and loving yourself. It’s not about being arrogant, conceited, narcissistic or egocentric. It’s about caring and loving oneself, accepting responsibility and respecting yourself.
How To Build Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem and Self-Love?
The Top 7 Ways To Build Self-confidence, Self-esteem and Self-love:
1. Increase Self-Confidence with Travel
Going on a new adventure, exploring the world and traveling offers huge potential to enhance self-confidence. It is a process of acquiring new abilities, skills, strength and increasing self-knowledge. It’s also a process of personal growth and increasing your awareness. Traveling can build self-confidence because it forces you to step out of your comfort zone to discover new places, learn new cultures, languages and possibly new skills that may come along the way. Gradually, you will realise that you have gained the power of self-confidence that comes from meeting new people and acquiring new insights on life.
When you find yourself lacking in self-confidence, try to get out of your comfort zone and explore. This is why travel is definitely one of the best therapies to develop and eventually gain self-confidence because not only you are seeing the world but you also get to experience and apply new knowledge you’ve learnt. Being able to travel provides a sense of meaningful ability and power because we somehow immerse ourselves into unknown things.
As you depart the boundary of your family surroundings to travel the world, you will immediately get exposed to “the unknown”. Throughout your travels, you potentially increase self-confidence by whole-heartedly embracing new adventures of your soul. You will also become more confident and start taking risks, perhaps doing something new or attempting to change the way you live your life.
2. Build something you are passionate about (business, houses, crafting) to enhance self-confidence
Building anything from scratch whether it is business, a house or creative crafts won’t happen overnight. However, if you decide to build or develop something that you are passionate about, that drive can boost your confidence because it’s something that you have uniquely created from your own imagination and skills that you thought out. Regardless how long it may take you to achieve your goals, staying focused and positive are keys to success thus increasing your self-confidence. The overall outcomes will be worth it because you’ve proved to yourself that you were able to build something from scratch and accomplish your goals.
3. Enhance self-esteem through self-exploration
Sometimes when we are so down on ourselves and the extreme lack of self-esteem has a big hit, we may end up feeling like we are incapable, worthless and feeling like we have nothing to contribute to the world or others. Therefore, I would encourage you to engage in self-exploration. Usually, people that are easily adaptable and happy are the ones who employ this method. When exploring yourself, it’s not just knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are but also about making an effort to try out something new such as new career, new lifestyle and new friendships. Even changing your sense of fashion can slightly lift up your self-esteem, however appearance should not be the only way to improve self-esteem as there are more ways to do that.
4. You need to own your failures and mistakes in a more positive way and use them as a learning experience in order to improve self-esteem
Human beings tend to stumble and fall along the way even when achieving something that is beneficial and useful outside their comfort zone or within their usual daily routine. This is absolutely fine and perfectly normal. What matters are that you’ve attempted something new in your life. We know that sometimes it’s hard to face the truth but it will only make us stronger emotionally and mentally as a person. Not only will it make us stronger by owning our mistakes, it will also make us wiser. Becoming wiser will enable us to easily manipulate life in a positive way and it will make us do better in our next ventures and thus in return enhance our self-esteem and self-confidence.
5. Improve Self-Esteem by Being Ambitious & Staying Ambitious
What comes to mind when you hear the word “ambitious” when used to describe someone else? For me, ambitious is someone who is a go-getter, someone who fights and chase over their dreams and accomplishes their goals no matter how long it may take. And these goals can be anything in life you desire it to be. Ambition is a very powerful trait and can also mean having or showing a very strong desire and determination to succeed in life. You may be ambitious to succeed in your new business venture, finishing university in order to have a good career or simply to be the best parent possible to your children. Staying ambitious will give you a sense of fulfilment in life. You could easily inspire, empower and motivate others to accomplish their goals. This in turn will improve your self-esteem.
Now, let’s be realistic! No one chooses to be ambitious and no one is born to be ambitious. Being ambitious is merely a choice that we make as we grow in life, in our career, in our childhood upbringing and surroundings. We can choose to be ambitious in order to have a better life and become successful in whatever is important to us. We have to take action in order to see these outcomes that we desire and dream about.
Therefore being ambitious and staying ambitious no matter what comes along, be it hard bumps or even failures, will eventually lead to success. There is no doubt, be ambitious, one must develop and maintain the traits and characteristics of an ambitious person. In return, you will see positive results in yourself and that is what we believe is a healthy self-esteem.
6. Discard toxic people in your life who have ruined your self-esteem
Being kind and friendly towards toxic friends or people can only do harm to yourself. We all know that we need companionships, friends or soul mates in our lives but wouldn’t you rather be alone than being with these people who are only dragging you down and ruining your self-esteem? Well, from my experience I would rather be alone but it certainly took huge courage and long enough to come to term with being alone and away from my toxic so called friends. I am not going to pretend here but that was definitely a horrible experience, as it completely ruined my self-esteem and self-confidence. I was dragged down and intoxicated with horrible beliefs that only cause my life to fall into depression.
I hope you can learn from my experience. If you are currently experiencing the same situation as I did in the past, I am not here to judge you or tell you what to do. I am only here to share my experience and give advice to whoever this may be beneficial to. We can’t really judge these people who love to bring other people down or ruin other people’s lives because there are obviously various reasons as to why they are the way they are. I guess people who grew up in an abusive family, (drugs and alcohol) certainly have huge contributing factors that lead to them being toxic. People who had a very difficult upbringing tend to have very low self-esteem as a result they tend to possess various traits and characteristics such as envy, jealousy, abusiveness, insecurity, and being manipulative. This can lead other people’s low self-esteem. Leaving these people behind in your life’s journey is not easy and simple and it certainly takes time and effort. It will eventually happen and soon after you will become a new person and you will probably even be the person again before you were intoxicated with bad habits and beliefs.
7. Learn to self-love by not comparing yourself to others
I know! I know! This is probably one of the toughest things or thoughts to overcome because comparing ourselves to others is sometimes uncontrollable. It is human nature. It’s like a disease that we sometimes can’t cure! Comparing ourselves to others is an unconscious thought that gets processed in our brain. No matter how much we try to avoid, it just won’t permanently go away but it seems to reappear especially when we find ourselves feeling down and low. To be honest, I’ve found myself comparing myself to other people who have better success and wealth than me only when I feel at my lowest and when my brain has been bombarded with the most self-depreciating thoughts. I feel so disgusted and sick to my stomach. As soon as I start realising that I’m doing this, I correct myself. Yet, it’s still difficult to overcome this bad thought!
The only thing to lift me up and escape is drenching myself in self-love. I consciously start accepting and loving myself. I consciously tell myself how grateful I am for being such a great person. I also start to think how fortunate I am to have all these unstoppable and unlimited opportunities around me and that I can do it and I know that I can achieve whatever I desire. If other people that are less fortunate than us have become successful it means that we can also do it. It only takes effort and perseverance. It’s ultimately self-esteem and self-love, which often go hand in hand.
I hope you enjoyed this article. I enjoy writing and sharing thoughts on self-help as it gives me inspiration and motivation in so many ways. It also encourages me to strive and inspire other people.
What are your therapies to overcoming low confidence, low self-esteem and self-love? How do you handle these? And what do you do to build and improve these great qualities? Share your thoughts in the comment section below, I would love to hear from you.
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